I walk by faith and not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5: 7

How are you today? It sure has been a while... I have been busy and I am only now starting to find my feet again. I started a new job. It's a time-sensitive job and keeps me busy from 08:00 to 17:00 Mondays to Fridays and Saturdays 08:00 to 14:00. I do enjoy the work, it makes me think and I have to be checking stuff. With all of this going on it dawned on me I just cannot make it through the day. I needed to get back on my knees asking the Lord to help me through my day. I started having panic attacks. It took me a while to come to a point in my life where I realised that I cannot face the day if the Lord has not been called into it. Yes, I know the Lord. I cannot get started if I don’t spend time in the presence of God. I now make a point of getting up each morning and going into my study, opening my Bible and reading. I feel like I am in the new beginnings, I am trying to change my perspective on life and still, I feel like nothing is truly changing. Tonight my husband made a statement. “Don’t you think you are changing?” Me? I am hard-headed and stubborn and difficult at the best of times. I am living by faith at the moment. I am working hard to draw near to the Lord, my God. I feel that I have let God down at a stage in my life when I needed Him the most. I didn’t turn to Him. I tried to deal with my insecurities and my selfishness and anger problems. I wanted to do it on my own. I made such a mess of things I cannot believe I am still allowed to come into His presence. I don’t know if I am changing, I cry a lot, I repent daily and I pray all the time. I have come to a place in my life where I know I need to trust in God. I have no way of getting through my day. I have to get back on my knees and pray. Confessing God’s Word is key to changing my life. In these past couple of months I have come to realise that when I confess God’s Word over my life, I feel better and I can take the day by the horns. Without courage I cannot get through my day and God’s Word is my courage, my strength and my way forward. I commit everything I do into God’s hands and I know He is helping me. Prayer Father God, Great and Mighty are You LORD. I confess that I am nothing without You, I cannot get through my day. As I close my eyes tonight I want to pray that Your Holy Spirit will be with me and when I wake up tomorrow morning Your Holy Spirit will be with me. I commit everything I do into Your hands and I trust in You to be with me every step of the way. I know I am nothing if I don’t have You. Holy Spirit please keep me safe. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I live by faith and not by sight and I know You are renewing my mind. Ame