Yvette's Whispers of Faith

by Yvette van Niekerk The air in the room felt heavy, thick with the kind of silence that isn’t peaceful, but guarded. I’ve spent years building a wall, brick by brick, prayer by silent prayer. Thinking I was protecting my heart from the sting of disappointment. I told myself it was safety. But God whispered a harder truth to my soul: it was a stronghold of pride. In the quiet pages of my Bible, I find women whose stories mirror the shadows of my own heart. I think of Michal, looking down from her window at King David. As he danced before the Lord, stripped of his royal dignity and clothed only in his joy, she didn't see a worshiper. She saw a fool. “She despised him in her heart” (2 Samuel 6:16). That contempt wasn't just a marital spat. It was a spiritual barrenness that took root. I know that coldness. I remember a time in my own life, a moment in the sanctuary. Where I looked at another and thought, “Hypocrite.” I judged the outward show and ignored my own inward decay. T...

A personal look at what happens when we wander out of God's best, and how we find our way back. Can I be honest with you for a moment? Like, genuinely, pull-up-a-chair honest? Because I've been sitting with something that has been quietly, and not so quietly, getting my attention lately. It started with a verse I've read a hundred times. Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so that we can know God's "good, acceptable, and perfect will." But in another translation, that word "acceptable" becomes "permissive." And that one little word? It stopped me cold. Permissive will vs perfect will, do we really know the difference? My pastor used to say we often live in God's permissive will rather than His perfect will. I'd nod along like I fully understood. Turns out, I understood it in my head a whole lot better than I was living it in my life. God's permissive will is what He allows. His perfect will is ...

By Yvette van Niekerk Embracing Personal Accountability As a devoted Christian, wife, mother, stepmother, and grandmother, I recognize the profound significance of assuming responsibility for my own life. This fundamental principle extends to my thoughts and actions, forming the cornerstone of my role as a constructive participant in all my relationships. • Evade accountability However, there have been instances where I've erred by shouldering an excessive burden for others, using it as a shield to evade accountability for my circumstances. In these moments, my focus on others and their well-being eclipsed my own need for personal growth and progress. Regrettably, I allowed these challenges to define my identity, succumbing to a pattern of chronic complaints. At times, these narratives of hardship were merely elaborate rationalizations, distortions of reality crafted to conceal my inclination to assign blame elsewhere. This not only absolved me of responsibility but also hinde...