Ice melting!

As fresh water brings joy to the thirsty, so God’s people rejoice when He saves them.  Isaiah 12:3

My strength lies in the Lord my God and I know this but today I failed to see God in all I did.  I was weak and I just felt like ice melting away under the suns blazing sun.  The problems I faced seem to engulf and swallow me up.

The sad part is everything I write has to be filtered as I cannot speak openly and up front.  I need to watch my ‘p’s’ and ‘q’s’.   Worst of all, I know that God isn’t mad at me but I feel as though He has left me.

I have decided not to tell you the negative or even mention the parties concerned it would be a disappointment to you too.  People of stature … then again it made me realise that God put me here where I am to love the people.  These challenges are so trying that I become so depressed to the point of suicide but thank God for His encouraging Words every day.

I have come to realise that the characteristic and traits of the people I currently am involved with are the very kind I am trying to get rid of.  Bitterness and self-centredness but to mention a few, when the Lord my God saves me I will be glad.  I am believe God is transforming me and that the Holy Spirit is involved.  I feel the pain, the isolation and loneliness, I feel as though I cannot accomplish anything I put my hand to.  It seems that God has put a shield around me that I just cannot move from.  I urge Him constantly please bless me, let me prosper help met shine.  The dome around me stays put and I am in it until God lifts it.  I need to learn to be kinder, I need to learn to be patient, I need to learn to love the people just as they are.  I need to relax my opinion about everybody. 

Lord I am bold in asking You please save me so that I may rejoice and glad in You.