I have to learn to like myself.

For as long as I can remember I have been told how fat I am, how lucky I am to find a husband, how lucky I am that someone actually cared about me and married me.  So many years have passed and I kept on believing that I am fat, that I am ugly and not attractive.   Then I got divorced and I lived alone with my three children for a couple of years.

My perception of myself isn’t that great I still struggle with my self-image and I still fall flat on my face on a regular basis.  My husband is wonderful, he never ever tells me that I am fat or unattractive or stupid.  He constantly reminds me of his love for me and he constantly tells me how great I look.  He looks at me with loving eyes and helps me with everything.  He basically carries me on his hands.

Because of my rebellious self I need to learn how to speak to myself softly, remind myself that I am worthy of his loving kindness.  I need to remind myself that I don’t have to go through any situation alone and that I have someone like him to love me and support me.  I am currently learning to be kinder and gentler towards myself as well as towards my family and friends.  

I am trying hard to give myself a little hug when I feel down and out; I am currently learning to speak gentle kinder words to myself.  I want to grow older with wisdom and understanding and not become this old hag with bitterness and hatred. 

Thank the Lord for my husband, his kindness, his understanding and his love.  The Lord for my family and friends and most of all thank the Lord for His word.  

Psalm 84: 11 ‘For the LORD GOD is a sun and shield; the LORD will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’

I want to walk uprightly and I want to be a gentler, kinder person and I want to make everybody around me feel happy and enjoy their lives.  They thank you to my sister for always being kind to me and always showering me with lovely gifts.  Zelda, you are the greatest!!!!

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