Skip to main content

I have to learn to like myself.


For as long as I can remember I have been told how fat I am, how lucky I am to find a husband, how lucky I am that someone actually cared about me and married me.  So many years have passed and I kept on believing that I am fat, that I am ugly and not attractive.   Then I got divorced and I lived alone with my three children for a couple of years.

My perception of myself isn’t that great I still struggle with my self-image and I still fall flat on my face on a regular basis.  My husband is wonderful, he never ever tells me that I am fat or unattractive or stupid.  He constantly reminds me of his love for me and he constantly tells me how great I look.  He looks at me with loving eyes and helps me with everything.  He basically carries me on his hands.

Because of my rebellious self I need to learn how to speak to myself softly, remind myself that I am worthy of his loving kindness.  I need to remind myself that I don’t have to go through any situation alone and that I have someone like him to love me and support me.  I am currently learning to be kinder and gentler towards myself as well as towards my family and friends.  

I am trying hard to give myself a little hug when I feel down and out; I am currently learning to speak gentle kinder words to myself.  I want to grow older with wisdom and understanding and not become this old hag with bitterness and hatred. 

Thank the Lord for my husband, his kindness, his understanding and his love.  The Lord for my family and friends and most of all thank the Lord for His word.  

Psalm 84: 11 ‘For the LORD GOD is a sun and shield; the LORD will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’

I want to walk uprightly and I want to be a gentler, kinder person and I want to make everybody around me feel happy and enjoy their lives.  They thank you to my sister for always being kind to me and always showering me with lovely gifts.  Zelda, you are the greatest!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

#never #destroyed

https://goo.gl/xK6bTg 2 Corinthians 4: 8-9AMP “We are pressured in every way [hedged in], but not crushed; perplexed [unsure of finding a way out], but not driven to despair; hunted down and persecuted, but not deserted [to stand alone]; struck down, but never destroyed;” I realized that my emotions are something that can cause me to feel pressure and hedged in. My circumstances seem impossible and I feel that there is no way I am going to make it. Then it’s time to check what is going on in your personal life.  Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating properly? Do you take a break from time to time? If I don’t get enough sleep it seems despair is knocking at my door, and I feel miserable. I just cannot move forward, I want to curl up and died. Just because I am tired and there seems to be no way out. Emotions have a way of controlling each one of us. I realized that I will never be destroyed because there is a way forward.  God gave me common sense an...
Post a Comment
Read more

You are a Blessing to me!

Working in a multiracial office is always interesting, and my story today is one about sharing and looking out for each other.    Our cleaning lady doesn’t earn much and I doubt even if they are paying her ‘mini mum wages’.   Nevertheless the people in our office know this and worry about her.    One of the young ladies decided to give her a newspaper with all the latest add in it.   As she paged through the paper she sat next to her and asked her ‘what do you like’.    Looking at the stuff on the page she pick out a couple of things that seemed impossible to own and said to this young girl.   I like this and I would love to have one of these. Without her knowledge the Human Resource division made a collection and they then assigned the task to the young lady to buy the things Judy wanted. We gave her, her gifts today.   I was amazed at her gratefulness, tears of joy running down her face and all she could say was “T...
Post a Comment
Read more

Help Me Stay True in Giving God His Tithe

Can I be real with you for a minute? Tithing is something I wrestle with. I try my best to be faithful, giving to the best of my ability. But let's be honest, sometimes I look around and see others who seem to be blessed in ways I'm not. They have this financial ease, this "caliber" of blessing, that can feel a world away from my own reality. And in those moments of doubt, a quiet, gentle voice reminds me: I am blessed. God does provide. He has come through for me more times than I can count, often in ways I didn't even see until later. He's always there, picking me up when I've lost it and guiding me when I'm blind to the path. My heart is so grateful for that. But my thinking still needs work. My human nature kicks in and whispers, "I earned this. I worked for this salary." It’s a constant battle to get my heart aligned with the truth. And the truth is found in verses like this: “A tithe of everything from the land, whether grain from the ...
Post a Comment
Read more