Photo Shoot

 

We had a photo shoot over the weekend and it was great fun, I was enjoying the new adventure with my sister and mom, my daughter and step daughter and not forgetting my sexy nice.  My daughter arranged this day for us and we had a whale of a time.

making memories was nice!

we are grateful to spend time with my mom and with the family.

How awesome it is to see how we all have grown.

 

Step Mom

As a step mother I feel so inadequate and most of the time I feel not worthy.  I cannot imagine why God would let me be a step mother to another woman’s children.  Today I am a step mother looking after two young children with totally different values and points of view.  You may think you know what your future holds for you, my goodness only God knows.  God knows where you will be in 10 years’ time and you hope you will be were you need to be in 10 years’ time.  My only prayer would be Lord please guide me and direct my steps, I cannot do this on my own.  Thank you for a wonderful husband who understands me and appreciates the fact that I am not perfect.  I sometimes wonder if he doesn’t just want to run away and hide from me.  I feel like a dragon on fire when things don’t go the way I plan them and explode on many occasions.  You cannot believe how easy that is for me.  Other people simmer and stay quiet me on the other than, I can explode in minutes and get it off my chest in that minute. 

Please Lord will you give me wisdom and I know that You can only give me knowledge I need to keep going and watch over these two.  I always wanted to adopt children as I thought it might be a good idea but now with two children I need to look after and teach my goodness, it isn’t that easy.

Hopefully I will success in the days ahead but right now God knows my heart and understands it isn’t that easy.  I pray for a pure heart and mind so that I might do the best I can.  Hopefully I can obey God in all I do.  Lord teaches, me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, and I shall keep it to the end.  Give me understanding, and I shall keep Your law; indeed, I shall observe it with my whole heart.  Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, for I delight in it.  Psalm 119: 33….

Children are a challenge, it isn’t easy I can tell you that much.  Goodness

I have to learn to like myself.

For as long as I can remember I have been told how fat I am, how lucky I am to find a husband, how lucky I am that someone actually cared about me and married me.  So many years have passed and I kept on believing that I am fat, that I am ugly and not attractive.   Then I got divorced and I lived alone with my three children for a couple of years.

My perception of myself isn’t that great I still struggle with my self-image and I still fall flat on my face on a regular basis.  My husband is wonderful, he never ever tells me that I am fat or unattractive or stupid.  He constantly reminds me of his love for me and he constantly tells me how great I look.  He looks at me with loving eyes and helps me with everything.  He basically carries me on his hands.

Because of my rebellious self I need to learn how to speak to myself softly, remind myself that I am worthy of his loving kindness.  I need to remind myself that I don’t have to go through any situation alone and that I have someone like him to love me and support me.  I am currently learning to be kinder and gentler towards myself as well as towards my family and friends.  

I am trying hard to give myself a little hug when I feel down and out; I am currently learning to speak gentle kinder words to myself.  I want to grow older with wisdom and understanding and not become this old hag with bitterness and hatred. 

Thank the Lord for my husband, his kindness, his understanding and his love.  The Lord for my family and friends and most of all thank the Lord for His word.  

Psalm 84: 11 ‘For the LORD GOD is a sun and shield; the LORD will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.’

I want to walk uprightly and I want to be a gentler, kinder person and I want to make everybody around me feel happy and enjoy their lives.  They thank you to my sister for always being kind to me and always showering me with lovely gifts.  Zelda, you are the greatest!!!!

Our Father

How indescribable is our Father God.  God knows each one of us by name, He knows our daily needs.  Reading this passage in the Amplified Bible – Matthew 7: 11 ‘If you then, evil as you are, know how to give good and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven [perfect as He is] give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him!’  

When thinking of the needs of my children I know that they need to eat and I also know that they need a warm house to come home to.  I know they need to grow up in a friendly and homely environment.  I also know they have school needs which have to be addressed.  They also have heart desires and wishes that need to be addressed.  Sometimes I give them their hearts desire and wishes when they come to me asking what if they could have this or that.  I have also learned that yes there are many requests and some of them are just not good for them and I don’t allow it.  I tell them no, you cannot have this or that because of A, B, C.  Hearts broken and mostly upset they fight with me because they feel in their heart they deserve whatever they asked for and I denied it.

Thank You Father that You don’t always give us what we ask for.  Thank You that you know that sometimes it isn’t to our advantage to get something’s.  We don’t see the big picture and cannot always know where it is going and what the outcome is going to be.  So we just want to get our way as we seem to be really spoilt and undeserving.

A source of fear

I have just started work again and I must tell you I have forgotten how versatile people are and each individual can really be so different from the rest.  Thinking about the lady I work with, she is short and stout, pear-shaped with long brown hair.  She doesn’t wear any makeup and cusses all the time.  It seems to me that every second work is a swear word.  It seems to be part of her vocabulary.  She praise God with the same mouth and yet she can swear just as badly.

One thing is for sure she is fearful of dying.  Each day we would chat about this and that and then boom; she is reminded of someone who passed away and would discuss them in detail.  At first it didn’t worry me but lately it is working on my nervous.

I find it disturbing to hear about dead people each day and today it is a relief not to be speaking about dead people but look what I am writing about?  My goodness, I don’t have to be writing about this but look at my title ‘the source of fear … dead people’.

Thinking about a sermon I was listing this morning Pastor Brian Houston discussed his trip to the USA where he visited Pastor Joel Osteen.  On discussing the trip Pastor Brian told of an event they attended at a ranch and the huge bulls all around them.  The thing that got onto him was the ‘cow dung’ which clung to his shoes and he just couldn’t get rid of it.  So I am starting to wonder if this ‘dead people’ thing is something that is sticking to this poor woman and she just cannot get rid of it.

How to approach this matter will be interesting and I must tell you I believe I can only do this by consulting my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.  There is no other way, I would have to speak to the Lord and trust in Him to renew my thinking and help her to change her speaking.

So I am going to focus on the Word of God Luke 6: 45 ‘The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For what you say flows from what is in your heart.’

The condition of this ladies heart is dread of dying I need to help her see life instead of dying.

I want to pray and ask the Lord to help me and guide me so that I am able to give her sound advice and help her face each day without worrying about dying.  She needs to start living her life in abundance and not by worry about something like dying.

New every morning

Lamentation 3: 22 – 23

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”

Each day has its own challenges and we don’t always know how to deal with them.  I believe these challenges are to help each of us grow and draw us closer to the Lord.  The Lord has been so gracious and provided something good in my life.  My latest challenge is to get along with new people of different cultures and they don’t always understand me or I them.

I thank the Lord God for His great love that is not consuming and His compassion that never fails.  I also thank the Lord God for them new every morning; great is my Lord’s faithfulness.  I want to make it my goal in life going forward to grow old gracefully, to be kind and show compassion.  I want to be able to listen to people and not interrupt them.  I want to be able to speak to them without accusing them.  I want to be able to give without being stingy.  It is my desire to pray without ceasing for each of the people I love and care for and also for those I don’t know.  I want to be able to answer without starting an argument.  I want to share without pretending and enjoy without complaining.  It is my desire to trust without wavering and forgive without seeking punishment.  Make promises without forgetting.  In doing all of these things I want to glorify my Lord Jesus and take Him as my clothing.

As it says in Romans 13: 14 ‘clothe yourself with the LORD Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for {indulging} the flesh [put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature].’

In doing all of this I want to be content with whatever the circumstances are in my life.  I am turning all my desires and cares over into the Lords Hands.  God knows my desires, and the Lord knows what is best for me.   I am choosing to trust in Him and in God’s timing.

In so doing I want to ask the Lord to let me live a bold and confident and overcoming life.  As I am the righteousness of God in Christ as 2 Corinthians 1:9 puts it ‘but this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God.’ 

The Lord God promised in Jeremiah 29: 11 ‘For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD.  They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.’  Why would God state this in the Bible if that wasn’t the case?  I believe God wants me to prosper.  Praise the Lord for being kind, loving and caring.  Praise the Lord for looking out for each one of us and helping me grow old gracefully with dignity and understanding.  I am being transformed into Jesus Christ’s image through the Word of God. 

The last breath of winter as spring arrives

 

Red, yellow and brown maple leaves falling from the trees
a chilling wind raising some leaves wafting away
exposing the naked barks to the chilling wind

Whistling threw the trees the wind winds around and about
swirling the red, yellow and brown maple leaves still hanging on the trees
pulling at the leaves as the wind picks up and pulls more leaves to the ground

Red, yellow and brown maple leaves cover the ground
resting and turning brown as the days move along
Flickers of sunlight peeking through the clouds touching a carpet of brown leaves

Birds come to rest on the bare barks singing their merry songs
A warmth is felt all over the fields as the buds of little green leave appear
Gently spring is moving closer taking tiny steps 

Haiku poem

by 

Yvette van Niekerk 

(13 July 2012)

Temptation

Watching people around me and thinking about what I want to do with my life, I honestly want to be a nicer me.  One of my dreams are to grow old gracefully.  It is important that I live a graceful life that is fulfilled with all the joys that live has to offer me.  God has blessed me with a wonderful man that is constantly praising me.  God has blessed me with children that fulfil my life with joy and also with a granddaughter that makes me smile and thank the Lord.

James 1: 12 ‘Blessed is the man that endureth temptation …’  You think that you can work around your temptations and you believe that you have the upper hand but be careful, temptation of getting even can bring you down.  Are you struggling with the temptation of eating too much?  Looking at the slice of chocolate cake you’re tempted to only take one little bite.  What is the harm in having a tiny slice of cake?  After you take that bite you lose yourself and before you know it you have eaten the entire cake.  You were blinded by the dark sweet chocolate and red cherries; the sweetness is so binding you just cannot stop it from overwhelming you.  Then the grinding painful thoughts keep haunting you as you look at yourself in the mirror.  

My advice to you is to stop, think about your situation or circumstances and then to take the correct action.  Once you stand still and look at the situation or circumstances you are able to actually make the right decision.  We never really think about it but temptation is something that is orchestrated to firstly blind you for that moment and then bind you for another minute and the final blow which will take its toll is to grind you for a very long time.  The devastation and reality of temptation is that you have failed at taking control over your actions.  

A fresh cup of tea

Placing a tea cup and tea pot on my tray
On the hand crocheted doily

A sugar bowl with spoon on my tray
As well as a jar of golden honey

The kettle boiled and I pour the boiling water
into the tea pot which covers the teabag

As the tea starts to brew I place a little plate
of biscuits on my tray with the tea pot

Entering the lounge I place the tray on the table
Sitting down I take my teapot and start pouring
the rich flavoured tea into my tea cup

Adding honey to sweeten my tea
I start to stir it until the honey has been absorbed
lifting the tea cup with saucer I place it on my lap
taking a sip of the tea I feel refreshed and start
to relax.

Listen now, my people, and come to me;
come to me, and you will have life! – Is 55:3

Poem by Yvette on tea