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The Walls We Build: A Journey to Quiet Respect

by Yvette van Niekerk
The air in the room felt heavy, thick with the kind of silence that isn’t peaceful, but guarded. I’ve spent years building a wall, brick by brick, prayer by silent prayer. Thinking I was protecting my heart from the sting of disappointment. I told myself it was safety. But God whispered a harder truth to my soul: it was a stronghold of pride. In the quiet pages of my Bible, I find women whose stories mirror the shadows of my own heart. I think of Michal, looking down from her window at King David. As he danced before the Lord, stripped of his royal dignity and clothed only in his joy, she didn't see a worshiper. She saw a fool. “She despised him in her heart” (2 Samuel 6:16). That contempt wasn't just a marital spat. It was a spiritual barrenness that took root. I know that coldness. I remember a time in my own life, a moment in the sanctuary. Where I looked at another and thought, “Hypocrite.” I judged the outward show and ignored my own inward decay. The sickness that followed wasn't just physical; it was a divine "stop" sign. God, in His terrifying mercy, reminded me that He sees the heart when we think we are merely observing others. Then there is Queen Vashti. Her refusal to come when called wasn't just a "no" to a husband; it was a public display of dishonour that shook a kingdom. We often think our disrespect is a small, private thing. A sharp word, a rolled eye, a wall of coldness. But Ephesians 5:33 isn't a suggestion; it's a bridge to the "abundant life" promised in John 10:10. The thief comes to steal our peace by making us believe that "protecting ourselves" through disrespect is safer than "surrendering to God" through honour. A Prayer for the Tearing Down of Walls If you find yourself standing behind a wall of your own making, will you pray this with me? Lord Jesus, I confess that I have not esteemed my husband as Your Word commands. I have built a fortress around my emotions, fearing hurt more than I value obedience. But today, I am ready for the ruins. I confess my disrespectful words and my silent attitudes as sin against You. Dismantle the barriers, Lord. Soften the hardness that has kept me from loving unconditionally. Give me Your eyes to see him; not as the world sees him, and not even as I see him. But as You see him. Heal my heart so that I may truly honour him, for Your glory. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. We don't have to be afraid of the "good" God is working together for us. When we let go of the control, we finally find the freedom to love. #ChristianMarriage #BiblicalWomanhood #RespectYourHusband #MarriageGodsWay #WifeLife #Proverbs31Woman
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