I tend to beat myself up often


Blows and wounds scrub away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.”  Proverbs 20: 30

Working on my attitude and my self-esteem is probably something I do daily.  I constantly check my words, I constantly watch what I say.  My thoughts are being trained not to wonder.  It has been a process I have been going through for a couple of years now.  To my mind, I believe that I am better and that I am getting better and better.  What I really want to say I have become more visual over my thinking.

It struck me when I was reading this book on Confidence that my self-esteem is really low.  I do not consider myself better than other people.  I feel that I should shrink back out of the limelight and wait for people to do their own thing.  Then I do enjoy writing and it gives me the ability to express myself but not enough because I live in the real world.

My biggest critic is myself.  I focus on attitudes and words that I feel are wrong and I constantly fight with myself to change them into more positive and good words.  I have never thought of myself as beautiful but has seen me as a “plain Jane” and would not like to compete with a woman my own age. 
So I can relate to the words in Proverbs 20 verse 30 “blows and wounds scrub away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being.”  I constantly self-talk and am working on my inmost being.  It is my heart’s desire to be acceptable to the Lord my God. 

I constantly pray for wisdom and insight so that I am able to allow the Lord my God to give me paths to discipline my own thinking, heart and my body.   You can only grow spiritually when you dig deep into the Word of God, the Bible. 


What is your thoughts around verse 30 in Proverbs 20?