@bout Fighting and Arguing

 

by Yvette van Niekerk

Proverbs 13: 10 "arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other's counsel."

We both are at fault many a time our fights start if I feel inferior, and think I'm it unfair. I feel exhausted, tired and unappreciated, and then I am ready for a fight. I react quickly, and my ears go shut.

I have become mindful of the words I use lately I find the worst thing I can do is to cuss or swear. My husband shuts down and ignores anything I am fighting or arguing. I am currently doing something I never thought about, try and see things from his perspective. He has told me on numerous occasions that I ignore him and never listen. So now I have become intentional on listening to what he says, honestly, it is paying off on my side. I'm forcing my ears open to hear him speak to me.

I do feel that when he's wrong, he should say "I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me."  It does hurt my feelings, but I cannot implement these words into his vocabulary, he needs to think about them.

So I hope you have learned something from my life experience:

One: try and see things from your spouses point of view.

Two: make sure you use both your ears and listen to what is said.

Three: it won't harm you if you say things like "I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me." By acting like in such a way, you don't leave scars.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, O Papa, You know both my spouse and me. We do have fights and arguments, please place a guard before my mouth and open my ears to hear when he speaks to me. Guide me through the Holy Spirit and show me how I can be a better wife. Thank You, Lord, in Jesus Christ's name, Amen.

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Focus on one thing

 by Yvette van Niekerk

Mark 10: 21 "One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me."

I multitask all the time and lately, I find that I am dropping things, not being as focused as I would like to be. I find that my thoughts are captured and taken somewhere else leaving me to be distracted. It's important to stay focused and concentrate on one thing at a time. I have been spreading myself thin lately, and this has a negative impact on my life. I am exhausted and irritated, not focusing on one thing but being double-minded.

I seem to fight to gain control over everything and everyone around me. The last couple of weeks I have decided to become more focused, keep my attention on one specific thing. This has resulted in my problems starting to free me for specific things. In the course of a conversation with Jesus, a certain man explained to the Lord all the great things he accomplished and how exceptional he was. Telling the Lord Jesus that he was diligently doing this since he was a young man. I wish I was perfect and diligent to the extent that nothing was lacking.

The Lord Jesus told the man "one thing you lack." When the Lord told him to sell off everything he had and give it to the poor the man left very unhappy.

It's true we don't focus on one thing we deal with so much thinking we accomplished so much more.

Prayer

Papa, I am grateful that I can come to You today, I need to focus on one thing, to my thinking I believe I should be focusing more on You. Lord thank You for Your word, I am asking You forgive me for being so full of pride and so rebellious. I am in need of Your Holy Spirit. Amen

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#Law_of_location

 by Yvette van Niekerk

Genesis 2: 8 "The LORD God planted a garden and there He put the man whom He had formed."

We see the LORD God starts off with a garden and then He made a man and a woman. I read that this is the law of location. I realised something the other day you will succeed when you are where God wants you to be.

About two weeks ago I hurt my wrist and I was in agony, my hand was constantly in pain. I wonder if this would be the same for us if we are not in a place where God wants us. It will be a constant pain. We will not succeed and things will be wearing us down. I want to do God's will for my life, not my own.

One person I think brings me back to my roots is Jonah, boy was he stubborn, he received an assignment from God. God said Jonah go to Nineveh and preach to the people. He didn't want to do that, he wanted harm to come to them. What happened afterwards makes me think. Jonah ran away from God, jumped onto a ship and tried to go into another direction. The fact of the matter is God, stop him on the sea, the people he was travelling with lost everything, and in fear after praying about it, threw Jonah overboard. Jonah ended up in the belly of a great fish and later was spewed out onto the shore of Nineveh.

I believe the harder the circumstances the more God is making you sit up and take notice. It’s time for you to see the bigger picture. I don't want to be foolish and follow in Jonah's footsteps; I am praying God will lead me.

I believe God has placed me here and I am working hard at it, I am succeeding at most things I do. God is blessing me because of the Lord Jesus Christ, not because I am a good person. I read Paul prayed for relief, God told him, "My grace is sufficient for thee ... 2 Corinthians 12L 9 KJV"

Prayer

O Lord, humbly I come to You today, please bless my work, my projects and the people in my life. Restore my relationships; please may I receive Your supernatural favour in my life with You as well as with people. My fasting is for restoration in my relationships, for peace in my heart and supernatural favour with You Lord and people. Lord, You know where I am and what I feel, I pray let me see and understand how Your grace works for me. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

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Count your worth

 

by Yvette van Niekerk

Jeremiah 31: 3 - 4 "Long ago the Lord said to Israel: 'I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love, I have drawn you to myself. I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines.'

I used to work in the corporate world and I love every minute of it. Something went wrong I beat myself up black and blue and even spoke to the person I thought could help. The mistake was made I cannot fix it, I started something new. In doing this I have been really repetitive and acted accordingly, my life isn't a bed of roses and people do keep me on my toes.

My company isn't big, it consists of me, my oven and all my gadgets. I bake the cake for a living and I take care of two little children. It's a full-time job, the cakes take up a lot of my time and the two small kids too. I believe God is rebuilding me from scratch, its hard and I am struggling. When God corrects me when He deems it fit, I suffer. I still believe God's corrections isn't rejection its proof He loves me. Hebrews 12 verse 6 reminds me of His love.

So how do I move away from the feelings I have around being rejected and being frowned upon? I realised that I am not a people pleaser and I am working very hard, God knows me and is on my side. I don't have to go around bragging about my cakes, I don't even advertise them, it's all word of mouth. I am happy I can perceive that my merchandise is of good quality. People pay good money to eat the cakes I bake. I am not bragging but I feel I am a Proverbs 31 verse 31 woman, I don't give up and I am working hard each day.

Prayer

Lord thank you, for today, thank You for looking after me, thank you, for the gifts and favour You place on my life, I am grateful for open doors, great opportunities and blessing out of Your hands. In Jesus Christ name, amen.

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Dealing with rejection

by Yvette van Niekerk

Psalm 139 verse 14 “ I praise you because I am wonderfully made.”

Dealing with the fear of rejection, I realize I must firmly believe that God designed me physically, intellectually, and temperamentally. God has an assignment specifically that I need to carry out. So this pity party I seem to entertain regularly, seems so humbling but actually, I am insulting God’s design and plan for my life. Therefore today I emphatically declare with the psalmist “thank you for making me, Yvette, so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvellous – how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, Yvette, O God.” Psalm 139 verse 14 to 17. I realized I have allowed other peoples opinion of me, be “less than.” 

I know and realise that Satan is the father of lies according to John 8 verse 44. Satan used people to lie to me about my worth and my potential. Today I have decided to reject these feelings and emotions of rejection, I know it is a lie straight from the devil. God has called me by my name and I belong to Him.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you Lord for today, thank You for this time I can spend in Your presence. Thank You, Lord, that You are in control over my life and these feelings of rejection mean nothing because You loved me first. Lord, thank You for my talents, Lord thank You for salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ, I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over myself today, my family and my friends. Please keep each of us safe. Help us stand against the evil one, planting thoughts into our minds. Guard my heart, my mouth and my mind in Jesus Christ name. Amen

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Dealing with rejection

 by Yvette van Niekerk

Isaiah 43: 4 "You are precious and honoured in my sight."

Reading this passage, make me feel accepted and loved. I do not have to continue down the road of feeling left out or not valuable. John 1 verse 11 describes how Jesus Christ was rejected: "He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him." What did Jesus do? Did He sit down and cry and feel sorry for himself? No, he didn't worry about their attitudes he moved on to where people gladly accepted Him. He said to the disciples: "whoever will not receive you nor hear your words when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet." Matthew 10 verse 14.

Constant and repeated rejection tends to validate our fear that we are inadequate. Especially when the opinions of our loved one, people we place value on effects our thinking. Ironically, our fear of rejection ultimately results in us being rejected because people feed off our emotions. The funny thing is, when people perceive that you have low self-esteem, and you have low regard for who you are, they zone in on it, and deal with you accordingly. My daughter tells me that we teach people how to value us, by how much we value ourselves. How does it work? You need to set the boundary and express a preference. Set limitations on how others interact with you.  If you do not do that, people tend to think you have none and their behaviour towards you is based on that.

Even when Jesus was rejected He never responded in that way and didn't tolerate continued rejection, He didn't stay there He moved on. Jesus went where He was celebrated not rejected. He recognized their behaviour and shook it off. He went where people were interested in receiving Him in person, who wanted to know His purpose and His power. Jesus has God's full acceptance, therefore, He didn't fear our rejection. We have God's full acceptance too. "Yvette, you are precious and honoured in my sight, and ... I love you."

My first reaction to dealing with rejection today, to realize that God's opinion of me is He loves me.

Prayer

Father God, thank you, for today's word, "I am precious and honoured in Your sight." Lord, Jesus Christ thank you, that You accept me just the way that I am, I feel valued and I can carry on. Amen

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Emotionally, I'm exhausted

 

by Yvette van Niekerk

Matthew 26: 41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

I only realized that when I am exhausted, I start fighting, I really pick fights and am very angry. I just couldn't put this verse into perspective until I realised that when I feel exhausted to the point of becoming angry, I fall into the temptation of starting quarrels and picking fights. When I start focusing on my own strength, and not turn my focus and prayers to the Lord, I fall into the trap of doing more and more, taking on more responsibilities and then I become overwhelmed. The Lord Jesus knows that without the indwelling Holy Spirit in my life and yours, we are only flesh and cannot avoid the temptation of any kind. Without the Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit, I will never be exempted from temptation, but I really don't have to allow it in my life. It's clear the devil really wants to control my life and sometimes without thinking I give him a foothold in my life. I get so busy with everything else I forget that the most important person in my life is the Lord Jesus, but I keep going hard at what I am doing. Not taking the breaks and resting and not deligating as I should. I slip up and fall hard to the ground.

I need God's Manifold grace 1 Peter 4 verse 10 in my life.

Prayer

O Lord Jesus, help me to remember to watch and pray, and always keep alter and keep praying, I am so exhausted, I feel like the woman at the well when you sat down and had a chat with her. Please come and refresh me today, may I pray for Your supernatural favour and blessings in my life in your beautiful holy name, Jesus Christ, amen.

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Lord, help me start seeing things differently.

by Yvette van Niekerk

Proverbs 23 verse 7 "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

I realised something last night, the devil is sly and constantly bombarding my mind with negative thoughts. Yet, I was focusing on the verse above, Yvette as you think in your heart, so are you. That was what I was focusing on so that I did not listen to the babbling of the devil in my ears. I was distraught for a while, I couldn't change my thinking immediately. I had to remind myself a couple of time as I think so I am. I have come to realise that I am struggling with negative thinking.  So what should I do? Well, I know the minute I start focusing my attention on the Lord, my feelings change and I feel better. I know studying Philippians 4 verse 8 that I should be focusing my attention on "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ... if anything is excellent or praiseworthy ... think about such things."

How do I deal with destructive thinking? Last night I decided to shoo them away, like when on a picnic and there are flies hanging around my basket. I made the decision and I can tell you it worked.

Trusting God in my future; because I knew Him in my past. Shakespeare said, "Let never day nor night unhallow'd pass, but still remember what the Lord hath done." I really don't have more problems than you, thinking too often about them makes them seem more than yours.

I realised that I allowed myself to feel hurt and this resulted in me being angry. I really have to deal with my anger issues, I am still struggling to come to grips with it. I need to root it out of my heart and mind, letting Jesus Christ in and solving my way of thinking.

I heard my daughter says if I want to experience a feeling, I must first entertain the thought that produces it. So if I feel sad, I am entertaining sad thoughts. I think this is life-changing information, don't you?

Prayer

Lord as King David prayed, please don't let me lose heart, I believed that I would see the goodness of You Lord in the land of the living. I am waiting on You Lord, I am of good courage and You Lord will strengthen my heart today. Amen.

 

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Friday #smile today

 

by Yvette van Niekerk

Smile because you want to, there are 5 different smiles to light up your face. 

When someone looks at you and a shy smile covers your face.  

When looking at your baby. A warm smile lights your face and seeing someone you know you smile a warmly acknowledging them. 

You can have funny smile lighting up your face or a wide smile to show your teeth.

Feeling a little off and sad and you have to smile, you feel you have to smile to let the other person feel better this is your sacrificial smile. 

Meeting someone you haven't seen in a while, you smile courtesy. 

The one I struggle with my fake smile gives me away every time.

Come on lets smile, today, have a lovely Friday and enjoy your weekend. Smiling lights up your face and is always so beautiful.

John 13 verse 34 "God has given me one new command that I should love others just as He has loved me.

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Sleepless in Witbank

by Yvette van Niekerk

Ephesians 4: 26 NIV

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”

Why am I struggling with sleeplessness these days? I do fall asleep instantly but wake up any time of the night; it could be between 01:00 am to 3:00 am. It struck me this morning that I am really frustrated and so angry. How do I deal with these angry thoughts, mulling through me? It’s clear when I am so angry I just have no peace of mind. I toss and turn the whole night. Because of my angry thoughts, I have to come to realise it is spilling over into every other area in my life.

I need to confront my anger and stop focussing on it, I think I have internalised it to the extent I get upset and frustrated immediately with people who tell lies, try and pull the wool over my eyes and pretend they know it all.

The negativity of this anger I am carrying around with me, cause me to be cranky and irritable, not dealing with issues the right way. Because I realise I am not getting the right amount of rest and my sleep is constantly broken. I know that with age we don’t sleep as much as we used to but strangely I actually need my 8 hours of sleep. I believe sleeping causes my blood cells to rejuvenate and regenerate themselves, cleaning all toxic waste from my body. My old cells are being replaced by new cells and my hormones and tissue are being rejuvenated. So when I am sleeping I can become whole again.

I know even when I do fall asleep, and I didn’t deal with my anger issues, I have stored it up somewhere to nurse it another day. The sad part is, when it does come up again it won’t give up or give in. I know God’s word is clear about going to bed angry. I try and make peace but I find it getting harder and harder and this is causing calluses over my painful experience. When I stew over this problem I fear I am becoming bitter, and revengeful. Is there a solution to my problem? I think there is, but am I willing to actually consider the solution?

My experience in this matter must be one of expertise but I seem to fail every time.  I know when I feel so rejected, insulted and manipulated that I should stop, take a breath and consider what is taking place. Then take this matter up with the Lord. In sitting down taking my Bible and reading some verses from the Psalms, praying through my angry thoughts and dealing with the issues that are tearing at my heart through the only divine intervention I know.

Why read the Bible? This causes us to become positively infused. God’s word is living water and when we sit down, focus on His word and pray about the problems, we become rejuvenated and looking forward to a good night’s rest. When I focus on the Lord every night, my thoughts are moved away from negativity and I start to become confident and feel perfect the next day.

Take these issues in my stride and dealing with people who think they know everything becomes easier and I feel I can take-up the challenge and opportunities that the Lord God’s  has with my life, His plans for me through God love for me.

Prayer

Lord, Father, God, humbly I confess that I still stumble and fall when my anger issues come to play. I feel hurt and rejected, I feel let down and many times I am shocked at the way I am being treated. Lord, You know who is making me feel like this, I want to bring them before You today, I pray that You Lord, will deal with them. I pray to bless them today richly and give them what their heart desires. To the extent, that they will grab it with both their hands. Thank You Lord, for hearing my plea and thank You, that I can come in humble pray, confessing my problems. In the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen

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